Counting to 18

The other day, while levelling my Monk, I logged out without first mogging her booties.

As you’re aware, Gnomes have only four fingers per hand. This is deemed normal.

But her bare feet revealed unto me an oddity.

Toes

Count ‘em. Ten little toesies.

I’m sure I’m not the first to notice, but this is my first time, and it’s weirding me out.

Advertisements

It’s probably too late for you

orlee-the-guard

Behold this image of one Orlee, female Draenai protection Warrior.  If you notice something a bit off, it’s because she just /salute’d one of the roving Thief Catchers on Volunteer Guardsman day or whatever it’s called.  As I understand it, this appearance is good for one day only, so if you’re reading this, it’s probably too late for you.

Definitely too late for you Euros over there.

I haven’t the means, but I would kill to witness a 25-man raid consisting of people that /salute’d Dwarven guardsmen on this day before going into battle. It would be AWESOME.

It turns out that if you’re hanging out in one of the cities while thus transformed, you may get attacked by random “city attackers” or something like that. These are randomly generated mobs that exist just to make things interesting for you. You know, city guardsmen getting beat on by nasty Hordies, that sort of thing.

This happens irritatingly often, such as when you’re in the bank trying to sort out upgrades.

So, yeah, it this “micro” holiday was about making me feel the guardsmen’s pain, I AM ALL IN.

DING

Legion Flying

…. and that’s flying in Legion.  Did it on the Priest this time, because efficiency is for chumps. Apparently.

Don’t I know you from somewhere?

Raethan

I just have this feeling that somewhere, Jong’s ears are burning.

Legion Alchemy makes me Sad

challenge acceptedIn general, Legion professions leave me with a simmering rage directed at the asshole that thinks that hiding even the most basic crafting recipes behind dungeon bosses is “fun”.

But the person that thought that hiding Alchemy basic progression behind an OPTIONAL boss should be punished by never being able to complete anything that isn’t locked behind LF* on the worst servers of all time.

I will settle for that person’s liver, in a jar.

I thought that WoW professions had hit a new low in Draenor.  Somebody at Blizzard must have noticed and said “Challenge accepted”, because this expansion has topped the previous in every way when it comes to making professions suck, with one minor exception – that being, you can wear more than three crafted items at once.

Nevertheless, even the most basic of Alchemy recipes beyond the Alchemy 101 spells you get as a result of setting foot in Dalaran are locked behind an optional boss, Grimoira. From my experience, the only way to down this  boss is to be an asshole and start the fight even if your LFD group has moved on. And  hope you don’t get kicked.

SRS … if anyone needs this boss and needs a DPS contributor, please LMK. I’ll group with Atilla the Hun at this point.

You know they like you by the way they yell at you

Jandvik

The gentleman in the middle is the innkeeper in Jandvik, which is in Suramar, of all places. When you engage him to purchase items, he greets you with such cheerful epithets as “I spit on you!” or “Sniveling pig!”.  And when you’re done, he send you on your way with a jaunty “And don’t come back!” or a simple “Begone!”

I’m sure this is considered the pinnacle of manners in Valarjar society.

Ground Hog Day

Been several weeks on the fire mage spec, and so far I am liking it. The new mitigation tools built into the spec make it a lot less likely that I’ll die just for being the center of attention, and the new flame shield is, well hawt.

I have not been pleased with the transmog, though. The Robe of Power is pretty sharp, but better worn in a disco than tramping around in the muck. And while the Mantle of Three Terrors is, in fact, super-appropriate to the spec, it also makes me look like a hunchback.  I have a problem with shoulders, all the way back to the second Scourge invasion – those shoulders and that head piece that dropped off the scourge bosses make me look like a bullet, or a torpedo, not a human mage with feelings. Feelings and wants and needs. A mage who …

… er, where was I? Oh, yes! Transmog! Fire mage transmog!

So, I got out my blue jeans from the frost outfit, some black-ish boots (nothing as good as mail wearers can get, but hey), and searched around for some more appropriate upper attire. First off was a nice shirt, the Corsair’s Overshirt, which drops off of of “Captain” Cookie in Deadmines (boy, was he surprised!).  And while I absolutely love my Junior Technician 3rd Grade Goggles, the new spec had me looking for something a little more interesting. Fortunately, there’s the Circle of Flame, and it drops from Ambassador Flamelash. This guy, in Blackrock Depths.

Flamelash Selfie

He’s not exactly super cooperative.

Panel 1

It’s a low drop rate. We had several engagements. Flamelash went through the five stages of grief.

denial

anger

bargaining

depression

And finally …

acceptance

At which point he just chucked all his stuff into the foyer, packed his bags, and went off to The Firelands for a vacation.  Which is what he should have done to begin with, right?

That was the last of the shopping trip, however, so now I feel a lot better about myself and my chances of not getting annoying swamp stains all over that white robe’s hem.

Screenshot 2017-02-18 14.29.20.png

Out of the Comfort Zone

jas-disco-look

It may come as a surprise to some that I am painfully shy around a bunch of strangers. This is why LFD has always been a bit of a turnoff for me.  Oh, I used it for a while when it was introduced back in WotLK, but I was still very concerned about the negativity one might encounter.

When I started healing, that went up by a factor of, I dunno, a bazillion? Being a DPS in a dungeon group is one thing – there’s three of you, and if you’re not the top of the ladder that usually just gives the others something to preen about while they bask on their sparkle pony in front of the AH.

But as a healer, you’re generally in a position of Great Responsibility™ and the least little fuck-up will probably result in a wipe. What’s that saying? “Nomi covers his mistakes up with mayonnaise. Priests cover their mistakes with dirt.”  Well, something like that.

I had been patiently awaiting my guildies to return to the game after the Christmas break. Unfortunately, like last expansion, they never did. Lives to live, that sort of thing. We were reenacting the pre-Legion doldrums, and me with a full quest log of stuff that I needed to clear up in dungeons. So what’s a priest to do?

That’s right … tighten your shorts, pilgrim and sing like The Duke. We’re going in.

Now, the surprising thing is that so far, Heroics haven’t been too bad. I’ve had two deaths in something like ten runs, and one total full on gonzo brain fart that resulted in me being, well, not kicked, but left to rot while the rest of the team completed the final boss.

So I’ve learned something important. A toon well equipped from almost daily Emissary runs can hold up pretty well in Heroic dungeons.  This will be instrumental in getting me to take my other toons in as well.

The other takeaway is that I’ve been driving the Priest around as primarily DPS as I solo’d my way across the island. But that’s different from healing. So I’m still learning the ropes on that. My biggest takeaway on that was that Power Word: Radiance is pretty frigging awesome since it keeps me from having to spam Plea every 10 or so seconds across five bodies. I hit two bodies (usually the tank and me), and Power Word: Radiance takes care of the rest. That realization has been very useful.

The other thing is getting an opening sequence down.  Is it more important to have a DoT ticking on the boss before lighting up the tank with Atonement? Or the other way around? I guess it depends on the tank – a squishy one is gonna need the Atonement lit first, then you can start a DoT up to get the heals flowing (unless you have to Shadow Mend just to keep him up). So far I’m going with Plan A in most cases.  The really squishy tanks tend to be more cautious. The ones that benefit from Plan A generally go in guns blazing anyway. So I tend to light up the boss then tickle the tank.

Is that legal in Kaledori law? Or do I need a lawyer?

A Memo to the Art Department

Visage of the Black Harvest.png

TO: Warlock Armor Designers, Dreadscar Rift

FROM: Floramel, your Supreme Leader by Acclaim

I would like to draw your attention to the positioning of the horns on our class helm. I’m sure real demons wear them there all the time, but, unfortunately, human eyes are positioned in such a way so that the horns are functionally blinders.  Now, I’m sure this could be remedied a number of ways, but it occurs to me that the easiest way would be to move the horns up just a little bit (and not, by the way, moving our eyes onto stalks which seems to be the fashion on Zazzinoth these days).

If it wouldn’t be too much trouble, something on the back to counterbalance them would be nice, as well. My neck is killing me.

Besties,

Flora

Very funny.

Okay, who’s  big idea was it to put the giant snow globe right in front of the entrance to the Warlock’s hellish domain?

Screenshot 2016-12-21 22.50.18.png

I detect Ratsel’s fine handiwork, here.  I know those mages.  Always planning some sort of mischief together.

We’ll see who’s laughing when we feast on their souls.