Category Archives: Spoiler Alert

Qua Taelia

If you’re Alliance, you’ve met Taelia, agent of Kul Tiras, Fury warrior par excellence, and giver of some of the best stinkeye I’ve ever seen in-game.

 

 

 

There is a big spoiler near the end of the main arc in this the initial stage of the expansion, so I won’t ruin it if you prefer to stay … unruined.  Turn thy virgin eyes aside, and come back after you find out … well, you’ll know.

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They gone?  Man, what a pain.  But here we are.

Anyway, as you may at this point know, Taelia’s full name is Taelia Fordragon, daughter of Bolvar Fordragon, who was last seen atop the Frozen Throne in Northrend.

Blizzwatch has already had a shot at what that means for purposes of her upcoming lore – i.e. she thinks daddy’s dead, nobody’s told her, this can only end in tears, that sort of thing.

But from the moment I saw her and Anduin Wrynn in the room together, I knew: this has to happen.

Yes, I know that Flynn’s carrying a torch for her.

I also get that Flynn is the Jack Sparrow in the Jack Sparrow / Elizabeth / Whelp sammich, and I think that Anduin is the Whelp in this case.

 

Yes, Blizz does tend to borrow from others and embellish, why do you ask.

Anyway.

  1. Anduin’s gonna need a queen.
  2. A Fordragon would be a fabulous choice.
  3. It would unite Lorderon and Stormwind once and for all, with a side of Kul Tiras.
  4. He’s a priest, she’s a warrior (maybe she can spec change to tank).
  5. jaina

    Come here, little king. Want some candy?

    Jaina’s a bit old for him (back off, cougar lady).

  6. Moira would be just wrong. Shadow and Holy? G’wan.

You see where I’m headed here?

Now, it’s possible, with the whole Bolvar the Lich King thingy going on, that Taelia will Go Dark at some point.

I figure we have a 50/50 chance of that, and a 50/50 chance of Anduin going dark. And I just can’t really get into the whole king-going-dark-for-the-dozenth-time thing again, so it’s possible that, if Jaina doesn’t grow a mustache to twirl, that Taelia will be taken from us, go rogue and go after Daddy Dearest or something weird like that.  The sort of thing that happens every other day in Warcraft.

But I hope not. We’re running out of good lore characters, and we need some interesting ones to take their place. But I’m worried because Taelia’s model is just basically a player character model with little to know real upgrades, making it appear that she’s not going to last the expansion out.

Anyway.

I have shipped Anduin Wrynn and Taelia Fordagon, and there’s nothing you can do about it.  Thanks for attending my TED talk.

 

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New Associate Races!

Allied_races

Oh hai! The good news is that I’m still around. That is also the bad news. I just haven’t had a lot to talk about since the BfA announcement – that goes a while back, I know, but there ya have it. What was that, BlizzCon?

I’ve started a number of posts, but ran out of gas before I got them up to our usual low standards of publishability. I haz opinions, but really haven’t felt like any of them were worth your time.

I’ve even gotten in on the Alpha – hard to say who hasn’t – though I haven’t actually done anything with it.  Matters of theorycrafting and so forth seem to be beyond my grasp – I’ve barely figured out how to properly use the Best in Bags tool at AMR.   That’s assuming I am, of course. AMR agrees with my own calculations enough to earn extra side-eye.

So anyway, watching all the news about BfA and our new Associated Allied races has me wondering about future installments on this already popular feature.  We all know about the Zandalari Trolls, some sort of Orcs from Outland (?), Dark Iron Dwards, and Big Chin Humans from Jaina’s Home Island.  What else might they be cooking up? Here are some ideas!

Leper Gnomes

I think that we’ve all seen this one coming from a mile away. The only thing holding them back has been the rather insensitive-to-lepers name, but now that we’re in the second year of the Trump administration, sensitivity is for the birds!  Bring on the possibly radioactive Gnomes!

Probably still won’t end up in the next cinematic, though.

Vrykool

Similar to the Big Chin Humans, but these folk trace their roots back to when the Curse of Flesh was first weakening the races of Northrend.  Smart folks, these relatives of the Vrykul got out of there before it got too bad, and also stayed hidden for thousands of years before revealing themselves. They’re cool like that.

Racial Bonus: they use regular sized humans for shoulder gear.  Cool.

Crimbo Elves

Somewhat related to the Really High Elves, these folks only appear in Winter, spending the rest of the year in communes in Northern Kalimdor.

Obviously if seasonal Associated Races don’t work out, this will be the only ones we ever see.

Nasty Orcses

Nocturnal by nature, Nasty Orcses have a racial bonus when fighting stupid hobbitses. Precious.

Limited to Warriors and Paladins. Obviously.

Mostly Dead

A somewhat embarrassing chapter in The Lich King’s campaign in Lorderon; these are the people who’s relatives gave up on them before they were actually dead.  Arthas took them into the Scourge and never heard the end of it.

Made for some awkward war councils, too.

“I remember you. You told them I was dead!”

“Didn’t turn out so well, for me, either.”

“If you think that makes it okay, let me tell you …”

“People, can we focus on the counterattack from Alterac?”

Gitauren

An offshoot of the Highmountain Tauren, these folks really rock.

Probably hinting at the eventual introduction of the Bard class. You know how Blizz is.

Panteran

I’m guessing this offshoot of the Pandaran race will line up directly opposed to the Gitauren.  This might even be the basis for the conflict in the expansion that introduces the Bard class. I’m calling it now – “World of Warcraft: Battle of the Bands”.

Furbolgs

There’s no sound reason, lore-wise, for this to ever happen. Therefore it will happen.

You get a Furbolg, and you get a Furbolg …

Gobwins

The perfect cross-over from Erfworld, these highly avaricious and clever subterranean creatures will replace the mobile auction house.  Their native resource, Juice, will replace Mana / Energy / Rage / etc for all supported classes.

Xe’ra should learn the meaning of "consent"

Screenshot 2017-08-29 19.51.56.png

Why so Handsy?

You may have seen the  cinematic that deals with “The Fate of Xe’ra”.  Here’s a link if you want to watch. Note it contains spoilers for the Argus campaign, which you may wish to experience in pristine purity of the pure. In which case, close this article now and come back when you have been pristinely enlightened purely.

We’ll wait until you leave …

Okay, here we go.

 

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Look! Up in the Sky!

After Kil’jaeden is defeated, Illidan uses a magic crystal to open a portal between the worlds so that they (and, presumably, we) could get back home. But, what’s that saying? A door swings both ways, I blieve?  While we could see Azeroth from over Argus … we can see Argus from here!

Initially, only those that brought down KJ in raid could see it, but this Tuesday, they opened the final wing of The Tomb to use LFR-ers (uh, “Raid Finder”, they say over at Blizz).  And on that magical day, Argus appeared everywhere.  Except for Northrend!Dalaran.

Be warned! Lots of pics and a video below!


The old capitals had a good view.

DarnassusIronforgeStormwind

But, sadly, Exodar missed out again.

Exodar

Kaz Modan …

Booty BayWestfall

… and Kalimdor …

FelwoodFeralaseMoongladeTheramoreUn'GoroWinterspring

Sometimes it showed in the most unusual and interesting ways …

r

And while I couldn’t see it from Northrend!Dalaran, other places in Northrend had a good view.

Borean Tundra

Even Pandaria had a good view, now that the mists have cleared.

Pandaria

And, in case you haven’t seen it yet, here’s the cinematic that explains this little bit of fel candy in our skies.

So that explains that

Perhaps you’ve seen the skies above the Black Temple and wondered, “why can I see Azeroth up there in the sky?”

Spoiler alert … this is the end cinematic from the Sargeras fight. Don’t watch it if you don’t want spoilers.

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