The second round of Blizzcon tickets is upon us today at 10AM UBT (Universal Blizzard Time). We failed to get tickets on the first round, but we’re limbering up our mouse fingers – special exercises and so forth – for this round.
I even visited the top of Mount Neverest to get advice from the Grand Master himself, which I share with you now.
You can excel, grasshopper, if you’re willing to pay the price!
Keep your eyes on the timer. Grip the mouse like a friend.
You don’t have to have telekinesis but pretend
like you do. Aim the mouse pointer around the site.
Enter into the slow motion so that time & space distort.
Make report with the button; click click how it go.
Pop-lock as you wield it; feel the trons flow
against the counter-currents of the motions you make.
You might mistake it for a simple game of timing, but it ain’t.
Now taint the universe with the flavor of your game,
tilt reality around your tickets to shape the lane
of their travel. But do not let it unravel fate:
don’t hit enter if it’s already too late.
It’s unfair to your opponent how you move through air,
how you throw away your keyboard — in the back got a spare,
how you dared them to serve before you got in the room,
how they tried but the nets cradled each as a womb.
Now, assuming that you’ve got all my lessons ignored…
See me at the Hilton at Con Before the Storm.
With respectful regrets to Mr. MC Frontalot, as always.