I have a solution

As long as I’ve played, I’ve seen a constant flow of envy from other classes.  They look at our magnificent demonic steeds, and say "Hey, why can’t we have one?" ((Mind you, they didn’t look at the massive cost of our mats and go, "Hey, why can’t we be taxed as much for our mounts?"))  They gaze longingly at our portals and whinge, "why can’t we use them?"  They even cried about healthstones so much that Blizz gave them a vending machine for healthstones. I imagine that somewhere out there, someone’s upset that they can’t summon Warlock pets, either.

The most recent outbreak has been over a new quest series in patch 5.2 in which Warlocks go to change our mundane orange fire for green fire, as it should have been all along ((Don’t get me started on THAT,)).  Apparently, some people are annoyed that we get to have all the fun here, and want something like it for themselves. Ignore the fact for a moment that there’s nothing about (for example) mages ((You know that fire mages have GOT to be at the center of this.)) that gives them that "cool factor" like Warlocks, and thus no real REASON to have a special epic quest series.  They just want it, because, reasons.

As always, Auntie Flora has worked long and hard to bring a solution to you.

You want all the warlock goodies?  Here’s what you do.

  1. Log out.
  2. Select CREATE NEW CHARACTER ((If you have no free slots, delete a mage.))
  3. Select class = WARLOCK
  4. Log in.
  5. Get your neat Warlock stuff.

You’re welcome.


Posted on February 9, 2013, in Blogosphereic echo chamber, Class warfare, Nobody likes a smartass, Warlock. Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. Here here!

    Bunch of whiners


  2. Yeah! You tell them, Flora!

    I think it’s a lot of fun that we get this, and the whiners should remember that Rogues got a whole, long quest line AND a legendary weapon all to themselves.


  3. I love the continual whinge we see when anything specific about a class gets raised for modification. It’s like these people want either: (a) everyone to be the same, or (b) their class to “finally” get some love.

    I hope Blizzard makes continual small cosmetic improvements to Warlocks every month going forward, so that these idiots leave the game in disgust.


  4. Sarcasm put (very briefly) aside, shoe-horning in a quest series “like the warlock thing” will reward us with quest chains that feel contrived and phony. The felfire thing, while sort of contrived-feeling, at least fits within the warlocky idiom.

    I have zero problems with other classes having cool class-based quest chains. But the “me-too” mentality just drives me to drink.

    I’m sure that if they’re patient, they’ll even find something neat for fire mages.



  5. Oh my, my newly rerolled Mage is taking over… DOWN WITH WARLOCKS! WE WANT COOL FIRE AND EPIC QUESTS!


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